Breaking Holiday Tradition in Search of Slowness
It’s ok to break tradition, repeat after me, it is ok to break tradition.
This thought has been running through my mind since the days started getting cooler and longer. It always seems like right after Halloween, Christmas sneaks up so quickly and before we even know it, it's gone and we’re left puzzled yet exhausted with empty bank accounts.
I am all for bringing back traditions and keeping them alive however...
I have been thinking about breaking some holiday traditions with my extended family for a couple years now but it is never easy being the one to suggest downsizing, ending gift giving or shifting dates that have been set in stone for years.
I love the holidays; I love hosting a huge meal for my family, buying the most thoughtful gifts or making something homemade. However, my desire to live a slower more intentional life has been creeping in and altering my thoughts on this.
I’m longing for something.... less.
So, I did it, I suggested to my extended family that we skip gifts this year for adults and only buy for the kids. We also shifted dates so our big family meal will fall on the weekend before Christmas and the amount of relief I feel is immeasurable. I think I speak for everyone in my family when I say the looming financial & time burden Christmas Day tends to casts has been greatly lifted.
I want more than anything to sit back with a hot coffee and relax through the holidays. I want to remember the joy on my children's faces as they spend time with the people we don’t get to see nearly enough, I don't want to worry about cleaning the house for the next dinner, or jumping from gift to gift never stopping to fully appreciate and thank the person it came from, only to forget what we got as we move on to the next function.
Will I still host the big meal? Absolutely. Cooking is a big part of who I am. I love to bring people together over a hearty meal cooked with love. But what I won’t be doing anymore is stacking family get togethers one after another, cramming multiple family jams into the very short window of December 24-25th.
I will admit though, I was worried someone would be angry about the changes I proposed, but in the end those changes were a relief to them as well. All it took was one of us to suggest it. Phew!
This will be my first Christmas not gift giving with my sister and mom. Part of me is grieving this already because I truly love spoiling them but at the same time it is their presence that matters most (Cheesy I know!) but cooking for them brings me as much if not more joy.
Currently I feel more at ease already in the weeks leading up to Christmas. This ultimately will allow me to transition into the darker days without the added financial stress and burden the holidays end up feeling like.
How can something as simple as ending a gift giving tradition and planning a family meal on a different day have so much effect on a person you ask? I’m not really sure, but I feel calmer and more thankful for it already.
Do you give gifts.... Has it become more of a burden then a joy?
What about cramming multiple family gatherings into a day or 2? Why do we do this!?
Would you consider celebrating with family a week before or after Christmas Day? Maybe you already do!
Have you tried to break tradition with family and been met with uneasy feelings? I wonder why for some this is a hard thing to grasp and consider. Are you too worried to even suggest it?
Finally, do you think that shifting your perspective and actions (like I have around the holidays) would lead to a calmer more intentional and joyful holiday season?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
~K